Dad Lives On in Memory Part I

My dad passed away on the morning of August 16 at at about 3:03. It has been several weeks and those weeks have been without the usual manifestations of time, memory, or movement. I know that I am getting used to the physical world without my father, but he lives on in the memories of many.

I am very fortunate in that I was able to spend a lot of time with my dad, especially in the 8 years since my mother died, and even more so, since his cancer and general health resulted in his placement at the Tamarac Rehabilitation and Health Center in March 2004. Until recently, I kept the calendar on the refrigerator in his apartment at Concord Village, just the way it was that day when I was in Florida to help him resettle in his apartment after a stay at the Health South rehab center nearby. He was never able to stay at Concord Village again. He truly loved Concord Village, serving as the president of his Building 4 for about twenty-three years and also serving on the Recreation Board that oversaw the entire complex. On the refrigerator were an invitation to his grandson's Bar Mitzvah, a photo of my dad and mom at their wedding, and the calendar that detailed his various meetings, doctor appointments, and other commitments. As a family, my wife, my brother, and sister-in-law, we had to figure out what would be best for my dad. We discussed trying to get him to either Massachusetts or New Jersey. We paid little thought to having him stay in Florida. But after talking with several of his friends, it became apparent, at that time, that if he pulled through, why not Florida, and especially Tamarac, a city he loved. After all, it was his home. I wound up staying in Florida for about a month and returned to home and work in mid-April. I still remember saying goodbye that day, wondering why I chose that particular day to get on an airplane and go back home. While I had tears in my eyes, my father, from his wheelchair told me that he would be "all right." and advised me to simply "do the best you can." Earlier he told me about how he saw my mother waiting for him to join her, but it wasn't time. Just about every day, my father and I talked on the telephone and the new phase in our relationship was underway. My dad surprised everyone by putting on weight and getting stronger. He resumed his work with the Broward County Sheriff's office, city of Tamarac, and various other volunteer efforts. The local paper chronicled his work from the rehab, as he was able to come and go. He, in many ways, thrived with the support of friends and the great staff at Tamarac. As a WWII veteran, he especially loved going to the Memorial Day activities.

When I went to Tamarac in February 2007, with his condition deteriorating, once again, our small family had discussed our options and it made the most sense for me to head to Florida and prepare to spend time with him and try to identify what options we had. In the last few weeks of 2006 and at the start of the new year, he began to talk about giving away the few possessions he had and two of his close friends alerted me to how bad his condition was Just the day before I left, the nutritionist called me to inquire about a feeding tube. As it turns out, I flew down during a major snow storm and arrived in Florida without luggage and without sufficient clothing for a very cool few weeks. I wound up buying some sweatshirts and other items at Walmart. I remember calling my brother and a very close friend trying to figure out what I was thinking in going to Florida for the duration. I wasn't sure that I could handle it. When I finally got to see my dad, he was asleep in his room at the nursing home. Prior to this, we referred to it as the "rehab", but now in this condition, it was the "nursing home". His cancer doctor estimated that he had three to six months and so, we prepared for death. Hospice services were put in place, a psychologist began to visit him weekly, and I decided to stay for the duration. My original leave of absence turned into a resignation. My younger son flew in from New Orleans and spent several weeks helping me out, visiting his grandfather, and getting to know him. Fortunately, he was able to experience "Sam Schwartz day" in Tamarac on February 28, 2007. At the Tamarac city hall, he received proclamations from the city of Tamarac and the Broward County Sheriff's Office for all of the work he did on their behalf. At that time, we thought for sure that his volunteer efforts were at an end.